Dear Parents: What I Really Need When I Come Home for the Summer

Finally, summer break! After a year of surviving endless assignments and late-night study sessions, I’m back home. At first, it felt amazing—no more deadlines, no more dorm chaos. But as the days go by, I’ve realized that coming back home isn’t as simple as I thought. The truth is, it’s a whole new adjustment for me, and I wish my parents understood a few things about this transition.

• I’ve Changed, But I’m Still Figuring It Out
  I know it’s only been a year, but living on my own has made me grow up in ways I can’t quite explain. I’m trying to balance my new independence with still being part of the family. I may not fit the same role I used to, and that’s okay. It’s a learning curve for all of us.
• I Need Space—But I Also Need You
  Living on my own, I get to decide how to manage my time and space. I’ve gotten used to being the one in control of my day, and now that I’m back home, I need some time to adjust. I don’t want to be distant, but sometimes I just need a little space to recharge.
• I’m Still Adjusting to Family Life
  At college, I came and went as I pleased. Now that I’m back, I need to figure out how to blend my independent life with the family routines. I’m still trying to find my place in the family dynamic, and it can feel like I don’t quite fit anymore.
• I Need Your Support, But Differently
  I’m no longer the kid who needs constant guidance. I appreciate your support, but I need it in a way that respects my ability to make my own choices. I still want your advice, but I also need to figure things out on my own, too.
• I Respect the Rules, But I Might Not Always Agree
  Coming back home means following the house rules, which I totally get. But after a year of living on my own, some rules feel a little stricter than I’m used to. I’m doing my best to respect them, but it’s a shift, and it takes time to adjust.
• I’m Dealing With College Stress
  College isn’t just about classes—it’s about managing stress, social pressure, and figuring out what comes next. I might not talk about it all the time, but I’m processing a lot. If I seem distant or distracted, it’s not because I don’t care—it’s just that I’m still figuring things out.
• I’m an Adult Now, But I Still Value Your Wisdom
  I’m making more decisions for myself now, but that doesn’t mean I don’t value your perspective. I still need your guidance, but I also need to have the space to make my own choices and mistakes.
• Let’s Focus on Reconnection, Not Just the Rules
  I want to reconnect, share what I’ve learned, and spend time with you. But when it feels like all I hear about are the rules and expectations, it’s hard to be fully present. Let’s find a balance between family time and respect for my independence.
• I’m Still Figuring Things Out
  Even though I’m in college, I don’t have everything figured out yet. I’m still learning about myself, my values, and my future. Please be patient with me while I go through this process.
• I Love You, But I Need Some Time to Adjust
  Coming home after a year of living on my own is a big shift for me. It doesn’t mean I don’t love you or that I don’t want to spend time with you—it just means I need a little time to figure out how to balance my new independence with my place in the family.

Final Thoughts

Being home for the summer is about resting, reconnecting, and recharging. But it’s also about figuring out how to navigate this new phase of life. I need your patience as I adjust, and I need you to understand that I’m still figuring out how I fit into the family after a year away. Let’s make the most of our time together and know that this transition is just as much about me finding my place as it is about you supporting me through it.